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Of Nike shorts and springtime in Athens

April 23, 2008

My roommate Joe and I decided this morning that we would take on a Herculean task: counting the number of girls wearing those Nike running shorts that are so popular right now. It’s not that either of us has anything against them, per se, we were just astounded at the number wearing them just at our bus stop (there were two or three). And so the game began.

By the time we had taken the Milledge bus to Snelling, the count had risen to the double digits. The Milledge bus stops are a hotbed of running shorts, so maybe our sample was a little biased. Nevertheless, we were having a lot of fun. Until…

We got on the Family Housing bus to the SLC. Here’s what played out:

Buildup: My friend Tamara got on the bus. I pointed out another girl with the shorts to Joe. Tamara asked what we were talking about. I explained our game…
Me: We’re counting the number of girls who are wearing those Nike running shorts today.

Girl Wearing Those Shorts Standing Right In Front Of Me: They’re really comfortable, okay. They have built-in underwear! [Tangent: that might come in handy for guys sometimes]

I’m not saying I have anything against them.

Girl, Getting More Annoyed By The Second: They fit just right because they’re not too short.

Me, Attempting Humor: They might be too short on me! [no response] Because…I’m…a little bigger. [crickets]

Girl: [huff and turn away]

Me: [glad to make it out alive]

And by the end of the day, my count had reached 37. Joe, who had been at work at East Campus Summit all afternoon, contributed 18 more, plus 4 more on his bus ride back home. And just to top off the day, I saw a friend running on my way back from work with the shorts…making our total reach a magical 60. Wow.

At $28 a piece…the things I could do with $1,680 dollars…

Disclaimer: The author has nothing at all against girls in running shorts, especially girls in Athens in springtime. This “game” was just that, a game.

Update: Joe came back and added 8 more to the count. It now sits at 68…we’ll see if we can’t add a few after dinner tonight.

Update (2): The number now rests somewhere north of 80. I lost count during the flood of girls at East Campus. So there you have it.

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